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Healthy Living > Sexuality and Gender

Sexuality isn't just about the actual practice of sex. It is about who we are as sexual or asexual beings, along a continuum of possible options. Exploring and defining our sexuality can be an ongoing, and sometimes complicated, process. There is a lot of information that goes into determining how we view ourselves; The biological sex we are assigned at birth, the gender identity that best fits who we are, the people we are attracted to, our sexual histories, and the choices we make about our bodies all play a part in understanding sexuality. At The Well, we have space for everyone. Our programs are inclusive and welcoming to any person seeking help, resources, or information.

What’s your sexual orientation?

For some of us, our sexual orientation is a part of our identities that are central to our experiences of daily life, while others of us rarely think about it. If you identify within the LGBTQIA+ community, you may have been confronted with the question, “How did you know? When did you come out?” Many who identify as heterosexual or straight are never confronted with this question. If you identify as straight, have you ever reflected on how or when you knew you were straight? Have you ever asked yourself if maybe you might identify otherwise? Visit Scarleteen to find some great resources to help you on your path to discovering your own sexual self. 

In 1948 Alfred Kinsey published “The Kinsey Scale,” an innovative way of thinking about sexuality on a spectrum versus 3 exclusive categories (homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual). Since Kinsey’s breakthrough, understandings of sexual orientation have expanded even further. Langdon Parks has since developed the Purple-Red Scale of Attraction below, taken from Just remember, when you start coming out to your friends as “E4” they might not know what you’re talking about.

Did you know? 

VCU Students Describe Themselves As…













Same Gender Loving




Another identity





(The Well's Health Survey, Spring 2016, n=856)

What do you like?

Yes / No / Maybe List- A Yes/No/Maybe List is a great fool for negotiating sexual and non-sexual boundaries. This list from Scarleteen is a good start, as is this one from The Good Men Project. If you’re into BDSM, try this kink list. If you have multiple partners, try this polyamorous list.

Fill out a list by yourself, and with a partner! Your boundaries may change in different situations, with different partners, and at different times in your life.

Visit to learn more about healthy sexual relationships.